Mirror
by Star Fata
Summary: EvaMolly reflects on her life, the way I think she would after the race with Spirit. Oneshot.


_They say that if you shatter a mirror, your soul will shatter like the glass. Once shattered, a soul takes seven years to heal. Seven years bad luck._

I guess I'm just a slow healer, because my soul shattered ten years ago, when I saw my mother crash, and when I watched her die in flames.

_I guess it would be more accurate to say that my soul was ripped up, like a piece of paper. I was torn in half when my mother died._

The healing process wasn't helped when my dad took me to school in a limo. I thought it was just my first day at school, but it was the day he said he was too busy to look after me, and that it wasn't his fault. His words haunt my nightmares almost as often as the day of the crash.

'**You understand, don't you Eva?'**

_When my father left me at __Stern Boarding School, I was ripped into shreds._

The school was a prison more than anything else, and it took me until my sixth birthday to work out what I'd done wrong. The teachers had treated me like every other kid there, and a few of them looked at me with something in their eyes… contempt.

_I reminded him of mommy. He didn't want to remember her because it hurt._

I stayed up all night, leaning against the cold wall. The phone didn't ring.

_I learnt that you could always be broken, even if you weren't whole to start with._

It was then I realised that I had a choice. I could do everything in my power to be different to her, or I could do my best to make them, the parents of my memories, proud.

_I didn't heal; I changed into someone else. I just kept the name Eva._

I chose to be myself. The teachers changed their tactics, and began to criticise me. I realised that my father had given them clear instructions on what to do.

If I refused to do something, they would keep it in mind and use it as a punishment at a later date. They wouldn't let me out, and once, just once, a teacher said something that almost shattered me again.

"**_At least now we know why your father doesn't love you!"_**

"_**My father adores me, he's just too busy to write. It's not his fault!"**_

_My father did love me in his own way. He wanted me to be safe from danger, so he put me in the only boarding school in the country that could pass for a fortress. He didn't want to think about mommy, so he cut off all ties._

I learnt to be myself, and I learnt how to deceive my teachers, so I could take mechanics instead of ballet. I learnt how to teach myself when they found out and added to my detention time. I had to take double lessons of ballroom dancing and gymnastics every Thursday and Friday.

_They tried to break my spirit. I wouldn't let them do that to me._

The day after my thirteenth birthday, I managed to convince a teacher to let me go into the nearest city. The made me wear a tracker on my wrist, and there was no way I could get it off and escape. Still, they didn't notice when I walked into a tattoo parlour. Not until it was too late, and I had the star and the mark on my face, and three studs in my ear.

_I remade myself, into someone stronger. I couldn't let go of my other life though, and the little girl inside would surface at the worst times._

I couldn't get rid of her, even though I tried to forget that she'd ever existed.

Every year I would wait by the phone, and contemplate my life, usually from my viewpoint, and then hers. I knew that he wouldn't call, but there was always hope, right?

_When you know you're going to get hurt, it hurts less, because you have no hope. If hope is lost, you are hurt much worse than if you had never had hope._

Each year, I learnt and re-learnt that lesson.

So, when I had finally had enough, and when I finally had the means to escape, I did. I found my father, and I panicked. I renamed myself rather than admit to him that I was his daughter. He didn't recognise me, and I barely recognised him. He'd changed, he was completely frozen.

_I gave myself a name that held more of a resemblance to me._

I knew that the name Eva meant life, but I had no idea what the name Molly meant until a conversation with Rick, before he found out what my birth name was.

"_**Hey there little mouse. You did great in the race today. Lets go out and celebrate." He'd said.**_

"_**Sure." I answered. Rick was like a brother to me by now, and at a stretch, a father figure.**_

_**On the way to the restaurant, I asked Rick why he called me little mouse.**_

"_**It suits you, and I'm not sure if Molly does." He'd explained.**_

"_**I like my name." I told him. "What's wrong with it?"**_

"_**Molly means bitter, little mouse doesn't mean anything. It just means that you're short." He laughed.**_

It was then I realised that Eva had died a long time ago, and Molly was the perfect name for me. However, just because Eva was dead didn't mean I could just let go and be Molly.

_I used the lessons she learnt in my life to stop myself getting hurt._

I have to admit, I followed the team because I was scared of the Crogs, and because I knew that if there was even the tiniest possibility of having a father, it was worth it.

_Sometimes the lessons had the opposite effect._

The fact that no one trusted me when I was worried about Rick hurt, more than I'd like to say.

It hurt even more when no one trusted me to win against Prince Aikka. I'm the first to admit I'm attracted to him, but the truth is, I wanted to win that race. I just didn't want anyone to get hurt.

It backfired on me. I was hurt the worst because I wanted to protect other people.

_I regretted my choice. Despite the fact I knew that Aikka would end up hurting me when Oban was over, he'd managed to hurt me by telling me that I had no honour. He hurt me way ahead of schedule._

The only reason I had flaunted my feelings for Aikka was the fact I knew that it would never work. We were opponents, and once the competition was over I would go back to earth, and he would go to Naurasia. He's a prince, and I'm the scrawny teenage racer from Earth.

Then there was the fact that we were literally from completely different worlds.

"_**Are you alright?" Molly looked up to see a really cute boy." Aren't you a bit young to be running around with out parental guidance?"**_

"_**Humph, did you really think I was scared?" she asked getting up and dusting herself off. "You should see the teachers at my boarding school, now that's scary. Anyway, where are your parents? You're no older that I am." She crossed her arms.**_

"_**Well in Earth years perhaps," he said amused at her reaction.**_

'In earth years' implied that he was a great deal older than I am, at least on his home planet.

However, I like Jordan as well. The trouble is, he's going back to earth. We have a chance; while at best, Aikka is a holiday romance.

Jordan is three years older than me, but I still really like him, and I think that he might like me too. But I don't want to be hurt again. I'm not fully healed yet, and I don't know how much more pain I can stand. I don't want to find out.

_This race is my life until we return to Earth. I won't let anything get in my way._

I almost ruined everything when I tried to kill Spirit, for no reason other than the fact I blamed him for something that wasn't his fault. It wasn't my mother's death I was angry about, although that was a huge part of it. It was everything that followed that angered me.

It wasn't his fault. I was just too angry to think otherwise.

_If I could have any wish, any dream, it would be…_

For my mother to be alive. For all those who were hurt because of this race to be fully healed. For my soul's salvation.

For my friends.

**Third person point of view.**

And with these thoughts Molly, Star Racer, slapped the water with her palm, watching the distortion of her reflection.

Eva Wei stood up, and began walking back to her hangar, unaware of the tear stains on her cheeks.


End file.
